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How to Live Happy?


Some Tips on How to be Happy by Roger Darlington
  • Above everything else, live with a partner whom you love and respect. Cuddle and kiss often and regularly buy unexpected little gifts.
  • Have a son or a daughter. Tell them often how much you love and admire him/her and do anything to help him/her.
  • Have a cat or a dog. Stroke often.
  • Keep in close touch with relatives and a small circle of friends. You can't beat their love and support.
  • Smile a lot. Smiles make you miles better - and you smiling will make others smile.
  • Laugh a lot. If you need some help.
  • Say what you mean and mean what you say. Honesty really is the best policy.
  • Be politely assertive. Say how you feel and explain what you want. Friends and colleagues can't be mind readers.
  • Give flowers and small gifts to your friends. To give is even more pleasurable than to receive.
  • When your birthday or Christmas is coming, prepare a list of the presents you'd like and give it to a partner, relative or friend to 'manage'. That way people won't struggle to choose a gift for you and you'll receive what you want and like.
  • Spend less than you earn. The figures may have changed and the decimal system may have arrived, but the lesson is still the same as when, Charles Dickens in "David Copperfield".
  • Use your credit card as a convenient way to pay for your major expenditures on a monthly basis - not to obtain credit at an outrageous level of interest.
  • As Shakespeare put it in "Hamlet", "Neither a borrower nor a lender be". Don't borrow money unless you absolutely have to (for instance, to buy a house or car). Don't lend money - even to relatives - unless you genuinely don't mind if it's not repaid.
  • Don't gamble. There's enough uncertainty in your life without you adding more - and anyway, in the long run, you can't win. (A little flutter on the lottery is allowed.)
  • Whatever your age, it's never too young to start planning your retirement. Regularly increase your mortgage repayments and pension contributions - this is a sensible use of the money you don't need for current expenditure and it will increase your longer-term lifestyle options.
  • Give regularly to the charities of your choice. Make at least one of those charities an organization addressing world poverty. Regularly increase your contributions as your income rises.
  • Turn food clippings into compost for the garden and put out left-over food for the birds.
  • Recycle as much as you can: glass, cans, plastic, paper.
  • Wear the most expensive after-shave (usually men!) or perfume (usually women!!) you can afford. It will make you feel good.
  • Surround yourself with pleasant smells. Have flowers, potpourri or scented candles in most rooms of the house and in your office.
  • Stay close to nature. Have flowers and plants in your home and office. Spend time in the garden or Local Park. Take walks in the countryside and by the seaside.
  • Eat lots of fruit and vegetables and drink water regularly (but forget that two liters a day rubbish).
  • Take regular exercise, even if it's only brisk walks. You'll feel better and live longer.
  • Whenever you can, take the stairs, rather than the lift (or elevator, for you Americans). You'll be taking regular exercise almost without realizing it.
  • Don't smoke or do drugs.
  • One way of dealing with a difficult problem is to imagine how you will feel about that problem next week, next month, next year. Now try to bring those feelings into the present. It will give you a sense of perspective. Problems rarely look so formidable in retrospect.
  • If you are uncomfortable or frightened about a situation, try to take yourself to a mental safe place which you have previously created in your mind and where you feel relaxed and comfortable. It might be an imaginary garden or beach or just an image of your study or bedroom.
  • If you're down, remember it could be a lot worse. If you need reminding, read "Still Me" by Christopher Reeve (quadriplegic) or "The Diving Bell And The Butterfly" by Jean-Dominique Baulby (locked-in syndrome).
  • If you've still got problem and you're still down, remember the line from the actor Jason Lee, in his role as Brian Shelby, in the movie "Vanilla Sky": "Without the bitter, baby, the sweet isn't as sweet".
  • As M People put it in their pop song, "Look for the hero inside yourself". You are someone very special - so you should respect yourself. If you can't, why should anyone else?
  • Regularly consider affirmative statements or aphorisms. You'll find a lot on this site and I'll send you a "Thought For The Week" if you ask me.
  • Take a weekly or monthly magazine reflecting a personal interest. You'll come to really look forward to each new issue, like a visit from a friend.
  • Listen to classic music. When in doubt, try Saint-Saëns Symphony No 3 (organ) or Beethoven's Symphony No 9 ('Ode To Joy').
  • Have a favorite television program, so that you can really look forward to seeing it.
  • Go out and see a good movie. A romantic comedy - something like "Bridget Jones's Diary" or "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" - usually works well.
  • Treat yourself often to something 'cheap and cheerful' that you like - chocolates, flowers, a magazine, a cake, a CD. It costs little and you're worth it.
  • Cultivate a few favorite places to eat and drink outside the home. Then, when you go to familiar café or restaurant where you like the ambience and the menu and the staff know you, you'll feel comfortable and content.
  • Stretch yourself mentally. Go on courses on different subjects - they don't have to be academic courses (they can be at your local college) and they don't have to be long (they can be as short as a day or even half day).
  • Stretch yourself geographically. Go to places you've never seen before. Even in your hometown, try taking a different route than usual and notice the different locations that you've never seen before.
  • Do something you've never done before, like visiting a particular art gallery or museum or going to a ballet or opera. You'll probably surprise yourself at how much love it and you'll have found a new interest.
  • If you can afford it, take regular holidays in different countries and savour different cultures.
  • Keep a diary or journal. It will give structure to your life, an easy way to revisit good times, and a reminder that bad times don't last.
  • Take lots of photos. You'll love looking at happy times and old friends.
  • Have a political vision on how to create a better world - and do something to make that vision more of a reality.
  • If you can believe, have a religious faith. (I can't. I believe that this life is all there is - so, all the more reason to make it happy).
  • Make a will, detailing the arrangement for your funeral and the dispersion of your assets. The only thing certain about your life is that it will end, so have peace of mind that the following circumstances will as far as possible be as you wish them to be.
Remember that all generalizations are dangerous (even this one). So don't regard these tips as instructions, but as suggestions.http://www.rogerdarlington.co.uk/Happy.html 


Keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry. Live simply, expect little, give much, sing often, and pray always. Fill your life or heart with love. Scatter sunshine, forget self, think of others and their feelings. Do, as you would like to be done by others. These are the tried links in Contentment's Golden Chain. http://www.kombu.de/happy.htm

Worship: It is the song of the heart that is grateful to God. Work: It is the secret of success. Play: It is the secret of youthfulness. Read: It is the source of knowledge. Think: it is the strength of the mind. Love: It is the sacrament of life. Dream: It is the soul of aspiration. Help: It is the secret of happiness. Laugh: It is the song of experience. Pray: It is the source of strength. Plan: It is the secret of being able to have time for all of the above. http://www.bigfatbaby.com/newfun/howtolive.html 


There is a process you need to go through in order to make your life more enjoyable:http://cosmo.marymount.edu/~drp29655/life.html

1.      Ask yourself, "What would make me happy?" and think about all the things that could make your life more enjoyable, and write down whatever comes to mind. If you have trouble with that, ask yourself, "What is it that bothers me about my current situation?" and write down everything that you don't like about your life. Don't rule anything out, no matter how absurd something may seem. 


2.      Next, ask yourself "What can I do to achieve those things? How can I eliminate those factors which make my life unpleasant?" and write down whatever comes to mind. You might want to show what you've written down to someone else, just for suggestions. 


3.      Arrange what you've written down in some sort of chronological order. Try putting the easiest goals first, and the hardest last. Or you could put the most difficult first, and easiest last. You could also start with the most enjoyable things, to the least enjoyable things. Do whatever works best for you. 


4.      Take action. Look at your list, and start right at the beginning. Start with the easiest things, hardest things, most enjoyable, least enjoyable, whatever works best for you? 


You may have some difficulties along the way, but don't give up. When you experience any difficulties, then stop right there, and think everything over again. Ask yourself, "Is there something I should do that I'm not already doing? Maybe I'm going about this the wrong way. Maybe there's something else that's just as good that I haven't thought of already." 


You may be criticized, but don't let it get to you. If someone criticizes you, just tell yourself, "Hey at least I have a plan. I'm going to achieve my goal one day, and I'll show everyone who criticized me." The only comments you should ever listen to are the ones that you feel are helpful. Don't let anyone put you down. 


Have a faith in yourself don't put yourself down. The more you put yourself down, the more it will all come true. For example, if I keep on telling myself I'm stupid, the more I will seem stupid, to both myself and those who I openly criticize myself in front of. However, if I tell myself that I'm not stupid, I'm very smart, and the more true it will seem. Putting yourself down won't get you anywhere. Instead of putting yourself down, think of how you could improve your weaknesses. Ask yourself, "How can I improve that aspect of me?" Focus on your strengths too. Focusing on what you're good at will get you somewhere, but never put yourself down. 


Life doesn't have to suck you can make it better. Life isn't a choice you were given life. You were brought into this world; you didn't choose to come into the world. Whether you like it or not, you're here, and you're alive, so the least you can do is try to make the best of your life.”

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